Pornography, Guilt, and Marriage Part 2 of 5

Down the Winding Road

(What Tom now shares, remarks MarriageCounseling Napes FL, is something all of us should understand when engaging in inappropriate behavior).  As the seasons came and went, Tom unhappily learned that lust does not fulfill, it “stirs up.”  It points in one direction only, downward.  There is no returning to a previous level and remaining content.  One always wants more.  “I no longer wonder how deviants can get into child molesting, masochism, and other abnormali­ties, " he reflected. .. Although such acts are incomprehensible to me, I remember well that where I ended up was also incomprehen­sible to me when I started.”

Though he had attempted to break the habit time and again, he found that he could not go a month or two before he yielded once more.  Self-hatred, despair, and guilt grew.  (But then another issue was developing points out Marriage Counseling Bonita Springs FL).  Over time, an invisible barrier began to develop between him and his wife, Susan, even in the privacy of their bed­room.  Tom's sexual relations with his wife could not compare to the Technicolor fantasies into which he had so thoroughly immersed his mind.  Tom was like a man craving for salt while dying of thirst.

A Dead End

Finally, after years had passed, two unanticipated events occurred which had a dramatic impact.  On previous occasions, when trips brought him to New England, Tom would become in­vigorated by walks along the coast.  He loved the smell of the ocean wind and the sound of the waves breaking upon the rocks.  But on this particular occasion, the experience produced no feelings at all.  Tom felt dead inside.  The seedy images of pornography had become more real to him than life itself.  He had reason to look at his life in a way he never did before.

Secondly, just three days later, Tom had the opportunity to visit with his friend, Steve, a man he greatly respected.  Tom felt he had to reveal his burden to someone.  Steve was a man he trusted.  After a hesitating start, Tom shared the secret side of his life.  (What Tom finds out as a result of this visit blew Tom away, says Marriage Counseling Fort Myers).

continued in part 3

There are all kinds of reasons why marriages experience deep problems.  Keeping secrets is one of them, but there are others as well.  If your marriage needs help, Dr. Ken Newberger is ready to help.  He meets with clients in his Estero FL office.  Close to Interstate 75, he is in easy driving distance from Naples, Bonita Springs, Fort Myers, and Cape Coral.  To view the outline of his process go to his website: MarriageCounselingAlt.com.  Feel free to call him as well to discuss in confidence the issues you are struggling with as a couple.