What is the Difference Between Doing Wrong and Being Evil? Implications for Marriage Part 2 of 2

The woman is then murdered, seemingly by a burglar. After the crime is committed, the doctor is mortified by what has happened. His conscience is eating away at him.  He is reaching a breaking point.  He feels he cannot  handle his guilt any longer. He is ready to confess his crime to the police but realizes that doing so would also implicate his brother. He remains in a state of conflict while continuing to delay in his confession.

Then one morning, after weeks of inner turmoil, the man awakens to a bright sunny day.  Inexplicably, his burden seems lighter.  He no longer feels the need to confess. His pangs of guilt don’t seem as oppressive. He is surrounded by the warmth of those who love him and the comforts of his privileged world.  The murder is attributed to another man, a killer responsible for other murders.  He decides to leave his troubles behind and take his family on an extended vacation. When they return all is fine,  safe and secure as before.  He returns to his thriving practice.As Marriage Counseling Bonita Springs put it, the pangs of guilt recede and are no longer felt.  He begins to forget ignore the terrible crime he committed and focus on the here and now.

In both of these stories, each of these men committed evil deeds.  But only the doctor became an evil man.   His heart became callous and closed off to the evil he committed notes Marriage Counseling Fort Myers.

Both of these stories are pictures of extreme behavior.  For purposes of this article, I am not looking at the fictitious endings, but at the response of each of these two individuals to their guilt.   Over time, notes Marriage Counseling Estero, in virtually every marriage, each spouse will do something wrong.  It may be an exaggeration or outright lie, disguising of monies spent, or concealing an affair.  Whatever it is, you have two choices: to tell the truth or to hide it.  Question:  Which path do you think most often leads to your becoming a better person and having a stronger relationship?

If you would like to build stronger bonds with your husband or wife but don’t know how to “handle the truth,” Dr. Ken Newberger, who holds a Ph.D., Conflict Analysis and Resolution, can help.  If there is a desire by both parties to repair or save the marriage, he will gently lead you and your spouse to a place of understanding where reality can be processed and real healing can occur.  Learn more about his approach and process on his website:  http://www.MarriageCounselingAlt.com/couples.htm. He serves all of Southwest Florida, including the cities of Naples, Fort Myers, Cape Coral, Estero, and Bonita Springs FL.  Or, call him at 239-689-4266 for a free phone consultation.  Experience the freedom of a guilt-free marriage once again.

What is the Difference Between Doing Wrong and Being Evil? Implications for Marriage Part 1 of 2

In 1843, Edgar Allen Poe wrote his famous story, “The Tell-Tale Heart.” It is about, in part, the guilt of a mentally disturbed young man who killed an older man, and what that guilt led him to do.  In more recent times, Woody Allen, in his film, “Crimes and Misdemeanors,” tells a similar story of a murder followed by guilt but with an entirely different ending, recalls Marriage Counseling Naples.

In the Poe story, a young man, who shared a house with an older man, decided to kill the older man.  Late one night, while the older man was in his bed, the young man killed him.  The old man screamed as he was being attacked.  Neighbors heard the commotion and informed the police of what they heard.  By the time the police arrived at 4 am, the young man had buried the old man beneath the floor planks of the house and cleaned up his room.  When the police came to inspect the premises, the young man told the officers that the old man had gone out of town.

But as the young man was talking to the police, he began to hear a noise. At first, he thought it was a ringing in his ears, but realized it came from elsewhere.   He tried to talk over it, but to no avail.  The sound only grewlouder.  And still the men chatted pleasantly, and smiled,Poe concludes his story (slightly edited).  Was it possible they heard not?  No, no.  They heard!  They suspected!  They knew. They were making a mockery of my horror! …I could bear those hypocritical smiles no longer!  I felt that I must scream or die!  And now again… louder! louder! louder! louder! ‘Villains!’ I shrieked, ‘dissemble [masquerade] no more! I admit the deed!Tear up the planks! Here, here!  It is the beating of his hideous heart! Marriage counseling Fort Myers notes this story provides a vivid picture of guilt.  The young man felt the burden of his guilt so acutely that he had to confess.

Marriage Counseling Cape Coral points out that one of the story lines in Woody Allen’s film was about a married, wealthy doctor who had an affair.  After two years, the mistress demanded that the man divorce his wife or she would tell all, including some of his shady financial dealings.  Fearful of what could become of his marriage and reputation, he speaks with his brother who has links to the underworld. A “hit” is ordered.

Continuedin part 2

Do you need assistance resolving disputes in your marriage?  Conflict resolution specialist, Dr.   Ken Newberger, PhD., Conflict Analysis and Resolution, can help bringing relational healing and reconciliation.  If you live in SWFL including Fort Myers FL, Naples FL, Cape Coral FL, Estero FL, or Bonita Beach FL, you are in driving distance to Dr. Newberger’s office in Estero.  View his process provided on his website at www.MarriageCounselingAlt.com/couples.htm to learn more.