What is the Difference Between Doing Wrong and Being Evil? Implications for Marriage Part 1 of 2

In 1843, Edgar Allen Poe wrote his famous story, “The Tell-Tale Heart.” It is about, in part, the guilt of a mentally disturbed young man who killed an older man, and what that guilt led him to do.  In more recent times, Woody Allen, in his film, “Crimes and Misdemeanors,” tells a similar story of a murder followed by guilt but with an entirely different ending, recalls Marriage Counseling Naples.

In the Poe story, a young man, who shared a house with an older man, decided to kill the older man.  Late one night, while the older man was in his bed, the young man killed him.  The old man screamed as he was being attacked.  Neighbors heard the commotion and informed the police of what they heard.  By the time the police arrived at 4 am, the young man had buried the old man beneath the floor planks of the house and cleaned up his room.  When the police came to inspect the premises, the young man told the officers that the old man had gone out of town.

But as the young man was talking to the police, he began to hear a noise. At first, he thought it was a ringing in his ears, but realized it came from elsewhere.   He tried to talk over it, but to no avail.  The sound only grewlouder.  And still the men chatted pleasantly, and smiled,Poe concludes his story (slightly edited).  Was it possible they heard not?  No, no.  They heard!  They suspected!  They knew. They were making a mockery of my horror! …I could bear those hypocritical smiles no longer!  I felt that I must scream or die!  And now again… louder! louder! louder! louder! ‘Villains!’ I shrieked, ‘dissemble [masquerade] no more! I admit the deed!Tear up the planks! Here, here!  It is the beating of his hideous heart! Marriage counseling Fort Myers notes this story provides a vivid picture of guilt.  The young man felt the burden of his guilt so acutely that he had to confess.

Marriage Counseling Cape Coral points out that one of the story lines in Woody Allen’s film was about a married, wealthy doctor who had an affair.  After two years, the mistress demanded that the man divorce his wife or she would tell all, including some of his shady financial dealings.  Fearful of what could become of his marriage and reputation, he speaks with his brother who has links to the underworld. A “hit” is ordered.

Continuedin part 2

Do you need assistance resolving disputes in your marriage?  Conflict resolution specialist, Dr.   Ken Newberger, PhD., Conflict Analysis and Resolution, can help bringing relational healing and reconciliation.  If you live in SWFL including Fort Myers FL, Naples FL, Cape Coral FL, Estero FL, or Bonita Beach FL, you are in driving distance to Dr. Newberger’s office in Estero.  View his process provided on his website at www.MarriageCounselingAlt.com/couples.htm to learn more.

Pornography, Guilt, and Marriage Part 3 of 5

Steve's response was totally unanticipated.  After Tom finished his story, Steve broke out in an uncontrollable sob.  When he finally recovered, Tom learned that his friend was not crying for him, but for himself.  Steve was where Tom had been five years earlier and had taken lust to its logical conclusion.  Tom reveals, “I will not dwell on sordid details, but my friend had tried it all... He reached inside his vest pocket and pulled out a pad of paper showing the prescriptions he took to fight the venereal disease and... infections he had picked up along the way... I worried about cognitive dissonance; he brooded on suicide.  I read about deviance; he performed it.  I winced at subtle fissures in my marriage; he was in divorce litigation.”

Tom was shocked but recog­nized that his friend ended up where his own obsession would likely lead him.  Fear gripped him.  (In this case, this is a very healthy fear notes Marriage Counseling Fort Myers FL),  Tom desperately wanted out of the downward spiral.

The Turning Point

Shortly thereafter, Tom did two things. First, he read a book by Francois Mauriac. Mauriac, a Christian and Nobel prize winner from France, wrote about the depths of human depravity as well as personal purity. As a conse­quence, Tom was motivated anew to humbly approach God in prayer acknowledging his weakness and the need for His strength to break the vicious cycle that held him. Mauriac reminded his readers of the words of Christ, "Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be satisfied. " Tom asked himself, "could He [God] substitute another thirst and another hunger for the one I had never filled?" He was willing to find out. (Marriage Counseling Esterol FL says this was a good move.  The spiritual component is all too often left out of the counseling process).

Tom did something else. One night at home, he confessed to his wife the hidden detours of his life.  (This is huge exclaims Marriage Counseling Naples FL.  The way to break the power of a secret is to disclose it to others).  Recalling that long conversation, Tom related, “Somehow, she in­carnated the grace of God for me.”  Susan forgave him for the years of her own silent suffering, for the relationship that never fully developed, for the rejection she felt at his need to go else­where. But from that point for­ward, Tom would openly share with Susan every temptation he encountered. His sex life which for so long was experienced in isolation would no longer remain a private matter.

continued in part 4

With a PhD in Conflict Analysis and Resolution, Dr. Ken Newberger can help you resolve conflict in your marriage and foster reconciliation.  Call him at 239.689.4266 to directly discuss your marital situation with him.  Also, view the process he follows which is outlined on his website.  Go to this page: MarriageCounselingAlt.com/couples.htm.  If you live in Lee or Collier counties in Southwest Florida, his Estero FL office is an easy drive away.